List of the week: Horror Movies

I love horror movies. I love gory horror movies, psycholigical horror movies, funny horror movies and so on. A really great horror movie can draw me into the story and then scare the hell out of me, or gross me out. These are my favorites in the genre.


1. The Exorcist
I saw this movie in the dark, alone. I turned it off about 45 minutes in. As the poster says "The most terrifying movie of all time." It's also the most well-made, well-acted and well-written horror movie of all time. The effects are great and horrifying and I really can't imagine what it was like seeing this in the cinema in the 70's. People have actually fainted from watching it. The cursing is also something you don't here in every 70's movie, pretty controversial if you ask me. No horror movie will ever match this movie's quality and fantastic acting. All i can say know is "Your mother sucks c¤¤¤s in hell!"

2. Jaws
"You're gonna need a bigger boat." Words that gives me chills every time I here them, as well as the theme of this movie by John Williams. What makes this movie so exciting is that they don't show the shark that often. It adds to the suspension a hell of a lot. The acting is great and Spielberg's direction is amazing. He knows how to scare us and I consider this, his best movie.






3. Evil Dead II
Probably the best sequel ever made. It takes everything the first movie had, doubles it and then adds a shitload of humour. The camerawork is amazing, and Sam Raimi just puts the camera wherever he wants in all sorts of crazy angles. What makes this movie great is not only the gore or the humour, but the leading actor Bruce Campbell as Ash. He's just awesome in every single way. Even though his hand gets possesed and he has to chop it off, he still fights by putting a chainsaw over his missing hand. "Groovy
"



4. Braindead
The goriest movie ever made? Yep! Peter Jackson shows that he can't only make great epics, but also great horror. It's funny, disgusting and just amazing. It has a kung-fu priest, a zombie baby and a lawnmover turning zombies into milkshake, what more do you want?







5. The Host
It's hard to actually put this movie in a genre, but it has a monster eating people in it, so I guess it's a horror movie. But it's not really about the monster, it's about the people around it and how both normal people and the government react to it. It's about family and about how far we can go to get our loved ones back. It's a Horror/Comedy/Drama/Family/Action/Thriller. Top that!




6. Dawn of the Dead
George A. Romero's best work is a follow-up to Night of the Living Dead, but with different characters and setting. the first one took place in an old house, this one takes place in an entire mall, which gives more space for the people to hide and the zombies to feed. It's a story about surviving, but it's also a social commentary of consumers. The zombies walking around in the mall is really suppose to be an average shopper, us. And I think that commentary works even better today.





7. Rosemary's Baby
Through the entire movie you can just feel that something is terribly wrong, but just like Rosemary we don't know what the hell it is. Roman Polanski isn't a graphic filmmaker. He doesn't show blood, or makes us jump in our chair. He attacks our brain, and makes us think and try to figure things out. Then in the end all you can say is: HOLY SHIT!






8. Audition
If you just see the first half of this movie you could think it's a romantic comedy, but when the twist comes you get an uncomfortable, nervous feeling right till the final scene which is one of the most rememerable in movie history. Takashi Miike builds up the movie in a brilliant way and shows what a master of horror he is.






9. Alien
This is a movie that builds up to one of the most famous movie scenes ever. This was suppose to be a b-movie from the start, but superb acting(especially Sigourney Weaver and Ian Holm), a great director namned Ridley Scott, creepie music and the most original monster ever seen in a movie, makes this movie a masterpiece.






10. REC
One of the few movies that has made me close my eyes, even the second time I watched it. It starts slow and for about 15 minutes not that much is happening. Then it just throws you into the horror, and since it's filmed with a handheld camera it almost feels like you're there. Just when you think it's gonna slow down, something unexpected throws you back in. The best horror film of the 2000's.

Hayao Miyazaki: Master of Animation

Some people have called him the "Japanese Disney" and I think those people haven't really seen a Miyazaki-film. Even he thinks it's an insult and it is, because Miyazaki is probably the most original filmmaker out there, and to compare him to Disney is like comparing Stanley Kubrick to Steven Spielberg.

So, why is his movies so great. first of all, it's the characters. The characters are so fascinating and 3-dimensional that you can't take your eyes of them. In most of his films he has a female lead and they are always sympathetic and amazingly well-written. Although what I like the most are the villains. The villains are just great. They are so original, hilariously evil and they always have a good reason to be bad. Sonetimes they aren't even that bad, but the circumstances has made turned them into what they are. The best example is lady Eboshi in Princess Mononoke. She burns down forests and kills animals so that she can expand her mining colony, but she does it for the love of her own people and even though she does horrible things you feel that she at leasts has some kind of a good thought behind it.














So, the characters are just outstanding, but what else makes his films so special. The animation is of course mind-blowing. Every single frame of his films looks like a piece of art and what makes it even better is Joe Hisaishis music to complete it. Hisaishi is probably my favourite composer of all time, the music ranges to sweet and soft, to epic and heavy.

Then of course it's the stories that keeps you going. Sometimes they're really simple stories, for example My Neighbour Totoro. The story is basically two sisters meets a forest creature and some stuff happens. Not really that complicated. Then you have for example Nausicaä, which is much more complex. The world has basically been destroyed by giant god-warriors. What's left are a few people living in different societies and a huge poisonus forrest filled with giant bugs that can go rampage at any time. Some people live in peace and some want to destroy the forrest and the bugs. So the people that wants to fight the bugs, and the people that wants to live in peace start to fight each other, while the heroine, Nausicaä tries to stop the fighting and both save the bugs and the people, while the bugs are rampaging. Yeah. Just a little more complex.













It's hard to choose a favourite amongst all of his great works, but if I had to choose, I would choose Princess Mononoke. It's the most exciting, most epic, most complex of all his works, so I choose it. But really, all of his films are masterpieces, they're just perfect. The only one I have some problems with is Porco Rosso. It's a little too cartoonish and the characters aren't as complex as in his other films. Still a pretty good movie though.
There's nothing more to say about him, other than I hope he lives a long life, so that he can give us more of these masterpieces.

Screw Disney! This is the real deal!

KICK-ASS: A mixed bag of awesomeness

I can't find words to describe how awesome this movie is. It's just SO FUCKING GREAT!

The story goes like this: A young guy named Dave Lizewski dreams about being a superhero, because he's nothing special at all and he's sick of all the bad guys going around, robbing and beating up people without no one doing anything about it. So he buys a scuba-diving suit and becomes Kick-Ass. The rest you'll have to see for yourself.

I've mentioned before that I think Watchmen is the best superhero-movie. I have totally changed my mind about that. This is without a doubt the best superhero-movie ever made, and probably the best movie ever made that was based on a comic-book. It's between this one and Oldboy.
The first thing I have to mention is the violence. If you're not used to violence in movies and are a bit queasy, then do not see this movie. It's pretty damn violent, to say the least. People gets shot, stabbed, chopped, burned, blown away and microwaved(don't ask). In other words: Awesome! In some scenes it's fun, some scenes it's sickening and in some scenes it's uncomfortably realistic. Nevertheless, great.
Then there's the humour. This is an incredibly funny movie. The jokes come at you all the time and you always have a smile on your face(except for some of the serious moments of the film).
The acting is amazing, Aaron Johnson is very sympathetic in the lead role, and Chloé Moretz as Hit-Girl is, again, awesome! Also, Nicolas Cage makes his best role since Adaptation. It's nice that he's back to making awesome movies.
Now, how about the look of the film. Hoky shit, it's like going into Willy Wonkas chocolate factory, except everyone's fighting. The cinematography is astounding and they really caught the comic-book feel, maybe even more like Sin-City, if that is possible.
The only thing left is the soundtrack, which is like the cherry on top of a milkshake. Just wow.

This is a masterpiece and the best movie of the year so far, but I seriously doubt that any movie can top this.

10/10

The Simpsons VS Family Guy

It started in 1989 on the Tracey Ullman show. A badly drawn show with bad jokes about a yellow family of four in a town called Springfield. No one really knows how The Simpsons got so popular, we only know it did. In a few years, everyone knew what The Simpsons was and many quoted Homer Simpson's lines such as: "Mmmm... forbidden donut" or "I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T!" Everyone loved the Simpsons, wether you were a kid or an adult, this show was for all.

Then in 1999, a new show came. It was also about a family of four(only not yellow). The name of the family was Griffin and the show was called Family Guy. There are as many similarities as there are differencies to these two shows. For example, both Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are fat, lazy, drinking, stupid, often bad fathers and they both love TV(who doesn't?). Other similarities are both Lois and Marge have an annoying, naging voice, both Peter and Homer have friends that are in love with their wives and so on. You could call it plagiarism, or you could call it inspiration, who cares as long as it's funny? Where the shows differ are in the way they are handled. The Simpsons is more kind and more family proof(even if there sometimes are sex and drugs involved), and Family Guy is more daring, more in your face and such and such.

The question is: Which one of these two shows is the best one?
The epic battle has been going on for over a decade know, some say that Family Guy has more jokes and gives you more laughs, some say The Simpsons are more original and that Family Guy steals a lot of jokes from The Simpsons. Now a days, the kids prefer Family Guy and the more grown-up like The Simpsons. I have a hard tme picking one, because I love both shows and I don't really care that Family Guy steals a lot of jokes from The Simpsons or that The Simpsons sometimes aren't as funny as Family Guy. I love them both. But, if I really had to pick one I would choose The Simpsons. Mostly because I grew up with it, it was first and it will always be my favorite show.

Oh wait, I forgot South Park... D'oh!

Best Movies of 2009

2009 was a great year for cinema and I saw a lot of amazing films that year. These are the the best.



1. Inglourious Basterds
Tarantino's best film since Pulp Fiction is filled with gruesome violence, long(and I mean LONG) dialouges and humour. In fact I think this is his funniest movie to date and it has one of the best endings to any movie in history. Just wow! I can't recommend it enough. And yes, Christoph Waltz is awesome.


2. A Serious Man
If you didn't like the open ending to No Country For Old Men, you aren't gonna like this movie. There's a lot of symbolism in this movie, but it's also really funny and the acting is superb. The Coens' are the masters of dark humour and this one is a great example. I find it hard to explain why this movie is so great so I'll just say: See it!


3. District 9
This is one of the most original sci-fi movies ever made. It starts as a documentary and then becomes a thriller and in the end it's an action movie. The lead actor Sharlto Copley is outstanding and should have gotten an academy award nomination. Director/Writer Neill Blomkamp has shown what an amazing filmmaker he is and I can't wait for his next film.

4. Fantastic Mr. Fox
I love this movie! From beginning to end it's a feast to the eyes and ears with great stop-motion animation, great voice-acting and a great soundtrack. It's a film for Wes Anderson fans, otherwise I don't think you'll appreciate the humour and style of the film. Either way it's a masterpiece in animation.

5. The Wrestler
Even though it's really from 2008 I consider it a 2009 movie, since I saw it that year. Mickey Rourke fucking rules! He gives the best performance of his life and one of the greatest performances I have ever seen in a movie. We feel for his character and we hope that he will find happiness in the end. It's a shame he was robbed of the Oscar by Sean "look at me I played a gay politician, award me"Penn.

6. Watchmen
The best superhero-movie I have ever seen. The visuals and the soundtrack is what makes the movie for me. The acting is sometimes great, sometimes not, but it works. The good thing about this movie is that it takes itself seriously. These are real people with real problems. And about the violence. Well, let's just say it's not something you'd see in a Spiderman-movie.

7. Avatar
Ooh! Aah! Whoa! That's all I can say.






8. Drag Me To Hell
Probably the funniest horror-movie of the deacade. It's nice that Sam Raimi went back to his roots after the Spiderman-trilogy and made something that both made me jump out of my seat and laugh my ass of.



9. Star Trek
I haven't seen the old series or any of the other Star Trek movies, but I still understood this movie, thankfully, and it's a real visual masterpiece. The opening of the movie is just amazing, cause it both shows you the origin of captain Kirk and a bad ass fight in space! The acting is great and the music is brilliant. The only problem I had with the movie is that the villain Nero(played by Eric Bana) isn't in the movie that much, which is a shame cause I thought he was great. Otherwise, a fantastic movie.

10. The Hangover
The best comedy of the year. From start to finish this movie keeps you laughing your ass off. Plus it's a great mystery movie about three guys trying to find their friend and remember what the hell happened last night.




I can only hope that 2010 will be as good as 2009 for movies.

Uwe Boll: The Antifilmmaker

I decided to start this blog by writing about the person(or whatever he is) that I hate more than anything else in the world, Uwe Boll. UWE BOLL, only the name sounds like a joke. This man has brought us such classics as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and so on, and so on. What do basically all of his movies have in common(besides being awful)? Thay are all based on videogames. Not that they look anything like the games they are based on, but still I guess the stories are similar.

The first one I saw by him was House of the Dead, and I gotta tell ya, I wish I hadn't. From start to finish, this movie just mocks our intelligence and destroys all hope I had in humanity. It stars some unknown teenage actors, but you can't really call them actors cause I don't see anyone acting. They just look like some random people in the street that just happened to walk into a studio and then somehow ended up in the movie.
The plot goes like this: Some kids hears of a big party on an island and decides to go there. They get over to the island by boat, and who plays the captain of the boat? Jürgen Prochnov from Das Boot. Why Jürgen? Why? I understand if you did it for money, but still, did you even read the script? Something is just wrong about that. However, it isn't unusual for Uwe Boll to have
good actors in his shitty movies. Bloodrayne for example has Ben Kinglsey and Michael Madsen in big parts, and In the Name of the King has Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds and John-Rhys Davies. There's just something weird about it.
Anyway, back to House of the Shit. The kids go to the island and party down when suddenly, big surprise, zombies starts to kill everyone. But hold on, this isn't your usual zombies with slow walks, missing body parts and blood dripping from their mouth, no, these look like shit. I mean they look like bad halloween costumes. I knew this was low-budget, but still, come on! Oh, and i almost forgot, they jump... They fucking jump like crickets. WHO WROTE THIS SHIT! Who
actually sat down and said to himself "hmm, how can I destroy peoples love for zombies in movies, oh yeah I let them jump around!" Oh and i haven't told you the worst part yet. Sometimes, for some insane reason, they show cuts from the videogame. They actually show cutscenes from the videogame in the movie. I am speechless.
So the kids end up in a house and then there's some evil guy there, and shit happens and then a helicopter comes and saves the survivors(I wish a helicopter would have saved me from this movie). There, know you don't have to see this stinkbomb.

This is just one example of what a bad filmmaker Uwe Boll is. And why does he keep making them. Because he is a brilliant businessman. He has a system so that even if his movies fail to make money he still gets money, or something I have no idea how it works. There's a petition to stop Uwe Boll from making movies and over 350 000 people has signed it, so it's nice to know that everyone hates this bratwurst.

Here's a list of his movies so that you know which to avoid:

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
Bloodrayne II(yeah a sequel)
In the Name of the King
Postal
Seed
Tunnel Rats
Far Cry
Heart of America
Stoic
Backwoods